Love - Why Betrayal Hurts?

The intensity of hurt in betrayal is directly proportional to the love we had. Why does betrayal hurt so much, so much so that some people lose desire to love?

When we love someone, that person becomes our own. There is always a sense of ownership. That is why one feels angry if one's loved one gets more involved with somebody else more than necessary. The sense of ownership and envy are essential to the process of love.

It is easy to say that when you love someone, give him or her freedom, space and so on. But does that ever happen? That does not happen because we are asking for equal or more commitment from our loved one compared to what we give. I care so much for you; you are also supposed to care equally. I never hurt you; you are also not supposed to hurt me.

We develop some kind of unsaid understanding. As the understanding becomes stronger, love becomes passionate and stronger. We all behave in this way in our life. Our loyalty to our school, our family, our country all comes out of this sense of commitment.

In love, the mind and the heart- logical and emotional feelings all are focused only on your object of love. It is an obsession when you think of nothing else but your loved one.

This is main cause of pain after betrayal. Because you never could believe that your loved one could betray you. You had considered them to be far better and lovable than anybody else.

How could he/she could this to me? That question keeps hammering your mind and you do not get any answer.

The grief of separation is equally strong. Your existence depended on your loved one and now he/she is no more there with you. That pain of separation is difficult to define in words. To avoid thinking about the loved one, people try many methods- join some group, do other activities, make new friends, and so on, but if the love was strong the person may remain a loner in a big crowd, because they have lost the foundation on which their life was being built.

Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting Go

The beauty of a woman

The beauty of a woman,

Is not in the figure that she carries,

or the way she combs her hair,

or the style she does make up,

The beauty of a woman:

must be seen in her eyes,

because that is the doorway

to her heart,

the place where love resides,

The beauty of a woman:

is not in a facial mole,

but true beauty in a woman,

is reflected in her soul,

The beauty of woman is

in her modesty,

And the real glamour of her is her honesty,

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,

the passion that she shows,

And the beauty of a woman,

with passing years only grows...

How to be A Good Girlfriend

It is very important to give time to your relationship. Do not rush through it. Enjoy the initial phases without worrying about the future. It is often noted that girls get too anxious about the end of the relationship rather than enjoying the present.

Give him space. It is often noted that girls complain about less time been given, less attention, etc. do not be obsessive and let him enjoy his life. At the end of the day you are two individuals who meet up to form a couple. So, give him some room to move about like a free bird.

Be candid and honest right from the beginning. This would give you an added impetus and make your relationship strong. Also, by being sincere, you do not give a chance of any lose ends for your partner to point out.

Be optimistic and have a positive outlook. If you always indulge yourself in cribbing and having a pessimistic nature, he would rather run away from you and look for ways to avoid you. Be tactful in your approach and both of you would end up being happy.

Voice your opinion, needs, desires and wants but in a way that does not hurt the other person or sound demanding. Let your feelings be known to him but in such a way that would keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person every time.

Have realistic expectations from him. Do not go out of the way demanding things which might be too much of a burden and a duty to him rather than an act of love. Be happy with what he offers you because this is the best he can do for you.

If your boyfriend does not like some of your friends, it is okay. He has loved you and not your friends and is even not obliged to do so. All he needs to do is to be polite when he meets them. So do not yell at them when for not liking them.

Have mutual interest. If he loves doing something, adopt to his likes and interests. In case, you are not fond of what his hobbies, you can at least try to understand what is so special in it that makes him such a huge fan.

It is a wrong notion that only girls love gifts. Guys too love it equally well. Surprise him with a little gift every now and then and he would be surely be overwhelmed. You can also go for a handmade gift that would make him feel all the more special.

How To Be A Good Boyfriend

Be true to your girlfriend. The base of any relationship is dependant on how honest you are to each other. It also builds up the respect for each other. However, be tactful when situation demands. At times, the reality is not well accepted by the girl when it comes to dressing sense, looks, style, etc. On such occasions tell them in a way that does not sound derogatory to them and conveys your message as well.

Most of the girls suffer from inferiority complex. Do not let this feeling overpower your girlfriend. Let her play an important role in all the decisions you take in life which is meant for both of you. If not, be prepared for the emotional game as girls often resort to this when they are ignored or not heard.

Communication is very necessary for any relationship to survive. Talk to her and let her know about what you feel, what are your aspirations, what she felt about a particular thing which happened, etc. give them the vibes that she can confide in you everything and would not have to worry about it.

Girls love to be pampered and when it comes to boyfriends they want it all the time. Pamper her with gifts, soft toys, dinner, flowers, cards, CD, books, etc. You do not have to get expensive items each time. Girls get impressed with even the simplest of all things like a single rose or a small key ring. So make efforts to make her feel special and loved.

Romance holds the key for your relationship. If you are romantic, sweet and thoughtful, your relationship would never suffer. Gesture speaks volumes about what you feel for the person. Compliment her, leave her a romantic note, call her unexpectedly just to say those three golden words. Even if both of you have been together for a long time, you need to make efforts to keep the romance alive.

Be interested in her interests. Girls love to talk and want someone to listen to them with a patient ear. It is noted that mostly guys do not take interest which usually leads to fights and tiffs. Show interest in what they say. Do not just blankly listen but be an active participant in the talks. Make them feel that something which is important to them is also important to you.

Do not be clingy and give her space. Being in a relationship does not mean that she has no personal desires. Let her be a free bird and move about freely.

http://ninanurziana.blogspot.com/

Heal The Hurt

When you blame others for your troubles, you give them

Control of your life. Free yourself from your own anger,

From your own resentment, and you'll find vastly more room

For serenity and abundance.

It's bad enough if someone has wronged you in the past. Is

It of any value for you to continue suffering from it?

Your best strategy is not to prolong the pain, or expand

Upon it. Your best strategy is to get past it as quickly as

Possible.

Whether or not anyone deserves your forgiveness is not the

Point. The point is, you deserve to forgive, to take back

Control of your life, so that you can live abundantly.

Your forgiveness may not even make a difference to those you

Forgive, if they're even aware of it. For you, it makes all

The difference in the world.

When it is you who is feeling the hurt, it is also you who

Can heal the hurt. Heal the hurt, and move past the pain,

With forgiveness.

Too Beautiful Not To Share

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemninganother - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

What Goes Around Comes Around

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, stranding out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fears can put in you.

He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.

'Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan .

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.'

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard....

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there

If Love Finds You

If you find yourself in love
with someone who does not love you,
be gentle with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else
in love with you and you don't love him/her,
feel honored that love came and called at your door,
but gently refuse the gift you cannot return,
do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love
is how you deal with you,
and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another,
and he/she falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave,
do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love.
Love chooses you.

All you can really do is,
accept it for all its mystery
when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person
who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others
who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you
in anyway you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong.
Having been so long without love,
they understand love only as a need.
They see their hearts as empty places
that will be filled by love,
and they begin to look at love as
something that flows to them
rather than from them.

The first blush
of new love is filled to overflowing,
but as their love cools,
they revert to seeing their love as need.

They cease to be someone who generates love
and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that
the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart.

Love has its own time,
its own seasons,
and its own reasons for coming and going.
You cannot bribe it or coerce it,
or reason it into saying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives
and give it away when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart
or from the heart of your lover,
there is nothing you can do
and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been
and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live
for a moment in your life.

Just be glad if and whenever Love finds you.

WiSEman

Overcoming a Broken Heart ( ll )

My Personal Experience

In my lifetime (in my 40's now) I have had several relationships. After each major relationship, it took me awhile before I was able to move on. To open myself to caring about someone else.

Even when I did move on, those who I said "I love you" to, I still care about and love to this day.

Now, even knowing that I still truly love the girl who inspired this website who moved on, I don't think of her as a "one and only love." She is the only person I can say I have "true love" for, and might remain that for the rest of my life. I don't know. She may be the person whom I love most in my life, and is at this point in my life by a wide margin.

But, as with all losses of love, I need time to grieve over my loss, I need to cherish what I had, realize what I have good in my life at the moment, and keep a hope for a better future.

If you have lost love, allow yourself the time to grieve (could be months, years. Harder when you have contact with the person that you love, than if you have no contact therapists tell me), then follow the same steps I am trying to do.

Good Luck,

Gregg
http://loveisgreat.com/BROKEN_HEARTS/default.htm

NOTE: Count your blessings! Take time to count what is good in your life. If a Jewish man living in a Nazi death camp during World War II could find positives in his life and have a positive attitude, then you can too!

Life After Marriage?

When one door of happiness closes, another opens: but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Helen Keller.

Overcoming a Broken Heart ( l )

Step One:

Allow yourself time to heal, and know that you can heal. Whether the loss is due to death, rejection, or other reason.

It is normal to grieve over a loss of a love for any reason.

It usually takes two to three years for a couple whose relationship has broken up to begin to put their lives back together again. It sometimes takes five years for individuals and families to get over the emotional pain and trauma. Many people can have serious health and emotional problems during this time.

Step Two:

Realize that you still can find happiness.

Realize that you can control how you think, what you think about, and how much.

A key is to concentrate on the positives you have in the present. Not thinking about the future or past.

Step Three:

Activily work to feel better.

Act happy and smile. Even if you don't feel that way, it should start to make you feel that way.

Life will be better

Healing Helpers:

Being around people and getting involved in helping others is a good way to accelerate the proces of healing.

Laughing helps too, so see a comedy, watch funny things. That is part of the reason the Irish have a party when someone passes away.

Helping others helps you loose sight of your own losses.

It is strongly suggested that you take the intensity of your feelings and re-direct them into doing something constructive that helps others. For me, it was creating this web site and doing volunteer work that helps others. Do volunteer work, it can help the healing process greatly. Especially, if the volunteer work envolves working with others, and feeling gratitude from those you are helping. The channeling the power of your feelings to accomplish constructive acts is very, very helpful.

Present

Nothing happens by accident...

If one day when you wake up, you would find on your bed a beautifully wrapped present with delicate bows, you would open it before even washing your face, curious about what is inside...

Maybe what you find is something you do not like very much...then you would put away the box wondering what to do with the present...but, if the next day you find another present, you would open it also and, if this time you find something inside that you like very much..A memory from someone that is far away, a beautiful clothing you saw on a window shop, the keys to a new car, a beautiful winter coat or just a beautiful flower from somebody that remembered you.....

This happens every day, but we do not realize it...
Every day when we wake up, it is there, before us, a present sent to us by God....a whole day to use in the best possible way..Sometimes it comes with problems, issues that we do not seem to be able to solve. Sometimes it comes with sadness, deception, even tears...

But other times it comes full of surprises, happiness, success and achievements......
What is important is that every day we receive a present, wrapped especially for us while we sleep: THE NEXT DAY.

We are presented this box with colored bows, no matter what the day brings........
That day when we wake up every morning is a PRESENT.....The present that life gives us. It is not always what we wish or what we hope for......But it is the best for us, what we need most, what we have to learn.....what we need to grow...

Open your PRESENT every day, giving thanks first to the Creator that gave it to you, without thinking what is inside the box.

If today you do not receive the present you wanted, wait for the next one....and appreciate what you received today. Tomorrow... Open your present with love and enthusiasm, because one day your dreams and the life plan for you will come inside the box, beautifully wrapped for you...

Life does not care about what we want....just about what we need.....
May you have a day full of blessings, in which you can feel the loving presence of your Creator, and may the present of every day bring you peace, spiritual growth, and enlightment on all we still have to learn about every day, and the plan life has for us, every day.....

About Love....

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.

Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... And just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

Give and don't expect.

Advise, but don't order.

Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."

Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life is beautiful!!! Live it !!!

Did I Marry The Right Person?

During one of seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'

In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . not just a feeling.

The Most Honourable Teacher in China

Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school... Don't laugh, after you read, u won't laugh. After reading this story, I speechless. I don't know what to say, is it society's fault, or else?

Xia die, she was a hooker, or she was a teacher. She is the most honourable teacher in China . She used her "dirty" body,exchanged with chasted children's heart. A hooker's death made all children cried and attended her funeral, the school dropped the national flag for her.

In the funeral of this 21yrs old pretty teacher, headmaster read Xia's diary sadly in front of all the students, she wrote : 'Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school.'

Xia lived in a small village of province of Gan Shu . All ladies in this small village, no matter she is pretty or not, went to Southern part of city to earn money. Every spring time, they will come back with money and beautiful cloths. Xia didn't follow after their ways after she finished her secondary school. A lot of people didn't understand what was her thinking as she has the pretty appearance and body.Of this, her father always scolds her.

When she heard of the only primary school in the village needs some teachers, she volunteerly ask to become a free teacher. She is a very good student in her secondary school and because of this, she easily pass thru all the test and became the teacher of the school.

The 1st time when Xia walked into the classroom, all children shocked to see such pretty teacher. From then on, the classroom always filled with children's laughter. Classroom -- should call it a hut instead of classroom as the wall is made of sticks and cover with leaves as its ceiling. A big stone was their table and the most expensive property should be the polished dark-green stone which was used as their blackboard. Under this condition, Xia taught thousands of Chinese words and knowledge to her students.

Unfortunately,there was wild rain that destroyed the school and all students became schoolless. The headmaster visited the minister of education in that province for some money to repair the classroom but came back with nothing. Headmaster told Xia that the minister stated that he will only give money if Xia asks for it. Xia never meet any minister before and afraid that she will make the things worst but still decided to visit the minister. She walked more than 10km to the minister's office.The minister talked many nonsense things but didn't mention about the sudsidies until late night.The Minister looked like a person fulled with evil thought.

At night,he asked Xia to follow him to a room to take the money.When she walked in,the only thing she saw was a big bed. That night,she lost her virgin.The Minister raped her. Her virgin blood drop on the bedsheet and is more reddish than the color of the national flag in the room.

Xia didn't cry, all she thought of was the students' eyes that fulled of disappointed. She wanted to rebuild the a classroom for them. She didn't tell anyone about the raped case after she went home.

The next day, with the money that brought back by Xia, all villagers bought some woods and rebuilt the classroom. However,whenever there was a heavy rain, the classroom still cannot be used. Xia always told the students that province ministry department will build a good school for them. In the past half year, headmaster had visited the ministers more than 100 times and never got any money from them. He is the only 1 who knew what did the minister did to Xia,yet,he can do nothing about it. New semester came, a lot of students couldn't pay their fees and became schoolless.Most of them followed their parents to work in the farm. Xia felt sad about that.

When Xia wish of all students can go to school become hopeless, she took off all her cloths and sweared to her naked body that she will use this body to exchange the chances for the children to go to school. She knew that all the ladies in the village were working as hookers to earn the living and she knew that was a shortcut for her to earn money. She cleaned herself and said goodbye to the headmaster, father, and school. She tight her hair as 2 ponytails and walked to the city. When she left, her father smiled and headmaster cried....

In the flowerful city, Xia was not happy at all, in her mind, there were only broken classroom and disappointed eyes of students. She walked into a Hair-Saloon, laid down on a dirty bed, and carried out her 2nd "dirty" business. In that night, in her diary, she wrote : 'Minister can't even compare to her 1st customer. At least they paid.'

She sent all her earnings except those for her to live on to headmaster. Headmaster followed her instruction to use the money on the development of the school. People kept asking about the source of the money and headmaster only told that it was from some donation of society.

After a while, people knew about the source of money was from the teacher and many reporters wanted to interview her and she just refused and the reason was that she is just a prostituet.

With the money, the school changed. First month, there was a new blackboard. 2nd month, a wooden table and chair. 3rd month, all children have their own books. 4th month, all children have red ties. 5th month, no children went to school with bared leg.

On the 6th month, Xia come back. All students welcomed her happily and said 'Teacher is so beautiful'... With all student's smiling face, Xia cried.. She thought of how much tears had dropped and how much sadness she had for the past 6 months.. she feels worthy when she see all these.

After few days at home, she went back to city. 7th month, built a ball park, 8th month, basketball, 9th month, all students have their new pencils. 10th month, the school has their own national flag, students raised the national flags daily. 11th month, a land-developer refused to use condom and caused the unwanted pregnancy of Xia. After abortion, she became the developer's mistress. Few months later, the developers dumped her because he faced the dropping land-value problem in ShengXhen, he didn't even pay her 1 cent.

Xia was tired of those life, she thought of going home and back to the school, but she has yet fulfilled student's dream which were building a concrete classroom and buying 2 PCs for the students. Because of these, she went back to beg the developer and the developer just refused to pay anything but introduced a foreigner to her. He claimed that the foreigner will pay her 3000rmb for 1 night. When she thought of the wild rain happened last time that has destroyed the school, she accepted it and went to the hotel with the tired body and soul . She sweared that she will go back to her home and school after that.

She died of the violation by 3 foreigners in turn. Moreover,she just past her 21th birthday.

Xia died without fulfilling her final wishes which were getting a concrete classroom and 2 PCs for the students.……

A hooker died silently, the sky of ShengZhen was still as blue as before, ministers still happily sitting in their office, many expensive cars still running on street, people still happily discussing about the share market, house market values, car values, and movies, musics and love story. Youngster tried to suicide because of small matters happened between couples. At this time, students, teachers and few hundreds of villagers attending the funeral in this small village 'GanShu'

In the funeral, people saw a black and white photo of Xia with 2 pony tails and smiley face. Headmaster opened the diary of Xia and read in front of all students, she wrote : ' Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school...'

The national flag dropped to its half... May be, this was the ONLY national flag dropped to its half for a GREAT hooker in China 's history.

After I read this, I cried for 2 hours. From now on, I won't discriminate any hooker, because among them there is a Xia. Hope you will forward this to all forum, friends, webspaces, to let all our governments to understand when they are saying and empty-promissing, when they are drinking in the pub, when they are doing dirty politics, Someone using her own power to change the world. Xia is using her sadly eye to look at all of us. Although she is just a hooker, she is more clean and saint than any of us. In this cold and dirty society, what she gave to the students are human's 'Great Love'.

Xia left the world with wishes, can't we continue her jobs of bringing more hope to the poors? If we can, why dun we share our love, our capable to these children in the third world or support those who try to be Xia in our country? Share our love to PRC, support them more.. we can be saint ourselves.

Saying 'I Love You' ...in a special way.

Saying 'I Love You' .....in a special way. A guy wanted to express his unfathomable love to his sweetheart. So, what did he do...? He gave chocolates to all the girls living in the University student apartments and asked them to turn their lights on or off at 8pm that night. See the pic for the rest.

Truly Breath taking ! You don't need to guess his sweetheart's reaction. Hundreds of students came over later to witness this great piece of Art driven by the Greatest Emotion known to Man - 'Love'.

Say I love You In Time

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.

She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up. I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on.

She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu.

Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you
again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.

"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to not get to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance.

I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family.

Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!"

An Incredible Love Story

An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world. It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.

The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years. Over 50 years ago, Liu Guo Jiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..

In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.

At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality.

In the beginning, life was harsh as hey had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives. Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'
In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps.

Liu Ming Sheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother’s convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, which no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.

'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?' Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China, collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

"HOPE is a Waking Dream ... with LOVE everything is POSSIBLE"

From a rapist's view

This is important information for females of ALL ages.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.


2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.


3. They also look for women on their cell phone , searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.


4. Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.


5. The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots . Number two: is office parking lots/garages. Number three: is public restrooms.


6. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.


7. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.


8. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.


9. These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
   Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.


10. Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.


11. If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.


12. If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes) , yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.


13. If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.


14. After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.


15. When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.


16. Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

• Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
• Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
• If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
• Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
  a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
• A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:
  a. Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
  b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
  c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
  
  IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
  
• ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
• If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!
• As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
• Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it , but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.